This piece is entirely a piece of fiction (and of weapons grade shit) and bears no grudge against anyone in general or in particular.
This is the 365th installment of 'Viewblinder', my daily column at 'We'b'shitt'in'ya'.
Well, this has been a very fast paced year isn't it. I am already writing my end of the year post. You know, when We'b'shitt'in'ya approached me an year back to manage the daily column, I was so unsure about what will I fill that space with for an entire year. There are only so many things about Poker you can repeat before somebody realizes there's a pattern emerging among it all. But all the love and support of my readers was always with me whenever I was in need of any material. And you made sure I had a mammoth amount of links to choose from and to mix and match and let the magic of the universe take its course.
You all are simplefolk, satisfied by a little, never cry, never complain. You almost remind me of the the black and white gem of a sport called chess. Oh, and on that note, I was a professional chess player, did I mention that at least a couple hundred times. Here are a few more links to validate my claim and well, take up the bandwidth. I am also a poker player, as you might have noticed, as in all the great stories I tell that no one really empathizes with and all the names and events I give links to that no one really cares to check.Some more hogging of bandwidth.
As it is the last post of a magnificent year, I am a little happy, with a tablespoon of the sense of accomplishment, a pinch of ecstasy, and a big bowl of smugness. And its a recipe for some real out of the box shit. Anyways, as it IS the last post of the year, I've decided to keep it short, for your sake and mine. Im not in the mood today. Also the work on my new book My Special Friend Payncho is almost finished. Seeing the sales of the first book, My Friend Payncho, which FYI you can still buy before the stocks go dry, I am very hopeful about its reception and hopefully can retire and not have to write any silly installments on any silly columns anymore.
Tere ghar me ghuskar
Maarega tujhe laat
Isse panga nahi lena
Ye hai India Unkaat.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Twinkle Twinkle
The night talks. The day screams, harsh and loud. But the night is gentle, more humane, soothing. The day always takes away. The night is a giver. It just gives. It consoles. It congratulates. It cuddles. The night brings peace. The night brings tranquility. The night brings forgiveness. The night brings love.
Days are bright, a tad too much. Nights are dim. Nights are relaxing. Nights are simple. Nights bring a promise of the morning, with an ever so subtle twinkle of shiny little stars. Days tire you. Night brings you rest. Night brings you dreams. Days are friends. Night is a lover. Days fight through you. Night cruises along, all the way and every step.
The darkness gives me strength. The darkness shows me the way. This is my darkness. This is my night. This is my dream. This is my heaven. I am happy here. Don't wake me up. I'll see you at daybreak.
Days are bright, a tad too much. Nights are dim. Nights are relaxing. Nights are simple. Nights bring a promise of the morning, with an ever so subtle twinkle of shiny little stars. Days tire you. Night brings you rest. Night brings you dreams. Days are friends. Night is a lover. Days fight through you. Night cruises along, all the way and every step.
The darkness gives me strength. The darkness shows me the way. This is my darkness. This is my night. This is my dream. This is my heaven. I am happy here. Don't wake me up. I'll see you at daybreak.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
엉아ㅣㅓㅍ리루
Chopsticks, Raw pork, Fried rice with shrimps, Cheapest beer, Costliest food, Sexiest legs, Not so sexy faces, Marlboro, Long hours, Downtown, Agasse, Vending machines, Lotte super, Yobosayo, Lamyang, CIDMS, Soju??, Hara international, Inappropriate bathrooms, Irritating Egyptians, Deftones, Boreyong mud festival, Woori, Kimchi, HUHA, Ridiculous farms, Drunk men, Drunk women, Racer bikes........ nothing more!!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
CAFE au' LAIT
"Hye! Would you like to go out and have an ice cream?"
"That is the best you could come up with? And it took you two hours to get that? That is the lamest thing one could ever say to any girl. It's official my friend; the day you get a girlfriend is the day hell ceases to exist. And I swear on my last tube of hair cream it would freeze way before you lose your virginity."
"But whats wrong with an Ice Cream? Girls like Ice cream don't they? I have never heard about any girl who hates Ice Cream. Wikipedia says it is one of the top 1o pick-up lines in Bangladesh."
"Abey ghonchu! How long have you kown this girl?"
"It feels like forever. It feels like I have been waiting for her all my life and 6 lives before that. I feel a special bond with her so strong it could have only be made in heaven...."
"I repeat my question: How long have you ACTUALLY known this girl??"
"Hmmmm lets see, I know that her name is Ayesha, I am not sure about her last name. I know that she studies in the PK University, right near Tagore Chowk. She takes bus no. 9 from Adarsh Colony at 9 in the morning to reach the college but she never returns by it. I spent the last three days in all the buses with 9 written on them. But I did not......."
"Just answer the question!!!"
"A little less than two weeks..."
"Are mere Romeo, research won't help you in this field. All that could be done is already done. What you need is groundwork. Get yourself together first, get a haircut, and NOT under the tree this time. Buy a pair of jeans, and some T Shirts. When you go to the bus stop next time, make it look like your car has a flat tyre. Be the stud, at least look like one. It always works dude. They alway go for the studs. To her, you should be the only guy on that bus stop. Her prince charming, her hero, her mystery man..."
"But,.."
"But what? Do not disturb me when I am in flow, just try to listen and learn. But what??"
"But you haven't told me what should I say to her. I get really nervous whenever I want to say something to her. I cannot even talk to anybody else when she is around. But it is okay because there really is no one on the bus stop at 9 in the morning I would like to talk to. If she would meet me in the evening then I'd be damned because...
"Topic!! Do not deviate from your path. From now on, the only thing you will think about is her, Ayesha right?? Or whatever she is. In two weeks you know that she is your soulmate. Have some sense or you cannot reach anywhere in your life. Is that where you want to reach?? Not anywhere?? I did not think so. So what you will do is get yourself in shape, go to the bus stop, and talk to her. And if you can do that, the right words will come out of your mouth. You know that fucker, whats his name? Yes, Shahrukh Khan said that if you want something real bad than the universe strives to present it to you, giftwrapped. I added the giftwrapped part. Really adds a tinge to it, don't you think? Anyways, you may go now. And come back with good news, and some chicken from Hamim's."
Next Morning:
9 AM:
Adarsh colony bus stop:
"Hey!"
"Hye?"
"Ayesha right?"
"Yes?"
"I see you everyday on this Bus Stop"
"Oh! You come here daily?"
"Yeah, I study in DK University, right next to PK University."
"Oh, Do you want something?"
"Longest pause in the history of pauses........... hmmmmm... Ice Cream."
"Excuse me?"
"I want Ice Cream. Do you have some? I mean do you want some? It will probably do something about this sweating problem I got going on."
"I am sorry I do not like Ice Cream, I am more of a coffee kinda' girl."
"A new canteen opened last week outside our college. I hear it serves some great Ice Cream... I mean Coffee.. I mean Coffee flavored Ice Cream. Would you like to try it sometime?"
"I guess I could try it.."
" The Ice Cream is really great, thats what I have heard till now, I think it would not be fair if you did not try it at least once. And I like Ice Creams a lot, so I want to try it too, I just thought..."
"I just said yes.."
"What?? Oh yes. I heard that. Today lunch then?? I will wait for you at the canteen."
Lunch:
1 PM:
Ranjite da dhaba:
"How is it? I told you I heard it was something else."
"It is actually good. I think we should come here again some other time."
Night:
1 AM:
Beds:
"Hello! Tomorrow lunch okay? Same time, same place, same Ice Cream."
"That is the best you could come up with? And it took you two hours to get that? That is the lamest thing one could ever say to any girl. It's official my friend; the day you get a girlfriend is the day hell ceases to exist. And I swear on my last tube of hair cream it would freeze way before you lose your virginity."
"But whats wrong with an Ice Cream? Girls like Ice cream don't they? I have never heard about any girl who hates Ice Cream. Wikipedia says it is one of the top 1o pick-up lines in Bangladesh."
"Abey ghonchu! How long have you kown this girl?"
"It feels like forever. It feels like I have been waiting for her all my life and 6 lives before that. I feel a special bond with her so strong it could have only be made in heaven...."
"I repeat my question: How long have you ACTUALLY known this girl??"
"Hmmmm lets see, I know that her name is Ayesha, I am not sure about her last name. I know that she studies in the PK University, right near Tagore Chowk. She takes bus no. 9 from Adarsh Colony at 9 in the morning to reach the college but she never returns by it. I spent the last three days in all the buses with 9 written on them. But I did not......."
"Just answer the question!!!"
"A little less than two weeks..."
"Are mere Romeo, research won't help you in this field. All that could be done is already done. What you need is groundwork. Get yourself together first, get a haircut, and NOT under the tree this time. Buy a pair of jeans, and some T Shirts. When you go to the bus stop next time, make it look like your car has a flat tyre. Be the stud, at least look like one. It always works dude. They alway go for the studs. To her, you should be the only guy on that bus stop. Her prince charming, her hero, her mystery man..."
"But,.."
"But what? Do not disturb me when I am in flow, just try to listen and learn. But what??"
"But you haven't told me what should I say to her. I get really nervous whenever I want to say something to her. I cannot even talk to anybody else when she is around. But it is okay because there really is no one on the bus stop at 9 in the morning I would like to talk to. If she would meet me in the evening then I'd be damned because...
"Topic!! Do not deviate from your path. From now on, the only thing you will think about is her, Ayesha right?? Or whatever she is. In two weeks you know that she is your soulmate. Have some sense or you cannot reach anywhere in your life. Is that where you want to reach?? Not anywhere?? I did not think so. So what you will do is get yourself in shape, go to the bus stop, and talk to her. And if you can do that, the right words will come out of your mouth. You know that fucker, whats his name? Yes, Shahrukh Khan said that if you want something real bad than the universe strives to present it to you, giftwrapped. I added the giftwrapped part. Really adds a tinge to it, don't you think? Anyways, you may go now. And come back with good news, and some chicken from Hamim's."
Next Morning:
9 AM:
Adarsh colony bus stop:
"Hey!"
"Hye?"
"Ayesha right?"
"Yes?"
"I see you everyday on this Bus Stop"
"Oh! You come here daily?"
"Yeah, I study in DK University, right next to PK University."
"Oh, Do you want something?"
"Longest pause in the history of pauses........... hmmmmm... Ice Cream."
"Excuse me?"
"I want Ice Cream. Do you have some? I mean do you want some? It will probably do something about this sweating problem I got going on."
"I am sorry I do not like Ice Cream, I am more of a coffee kinda' girl."
"A new canteen opened last week outside our college. I hear it serves some great Ice Cream... I mean Coffee.. I mean Coffee flavored Ice Cream. Would you like to try it sometime?"
"I guess I could try it.."
" The Ice Cream is really great, thats what I have heard till now, I think it would not be fair if you did not try it at least once. And I like Ice Creams a lot, so I want to try it too, I just thought..."
"I just said yes.."
"What?? Oh yes. I heard that. Today lunch then?? I will wait for you at the canteen."
Lunch:
1 PM:
Ranjite da dhaba:
"How is it? I told you I heard it was something else."
"It is actually good. I think we should come here again some other time."
Night:
1 AM:
Beds:
"Hello! Tomorrow lunch okay? Same time, same place, same Ice Cream."
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Confession
You want to know why I did it. You want answers, explanations, then you must be patient. Because this is my story, and it starts from the very beginning.
It all started off that day. 9th of January, 2009, 5:30 pm. I was returning home from work. Actually my parents worked there. I was too young to work, barely 9 years of age. My parents worked for a contractor, carrying bricks and cement. I used to go with them and play around all day throwing stones at the stray dogs. I did not go to school, daily wage earners don'r really have that luxury. We lived under a plastic roof at the municipality ground, me, my mom and my dad, with around 1000 other families.
Then, as we were returning home, there was a huge explosion. Hell, I could not even spell explosion then. It was a huge ball of fire that threw the car in the air, and it was accompanied with a deafening noise. I was terrified. I turned back to run, I caught a glimpse of my mom, lying on the road, blood oozing from her open head. My dad was leaning over her, shocked, sad. "Dad RUN!!" I shouted, trying to point at the car that was still flying from the explosion. But I was a bit too late, It fell right where my mom was lying, right where my father was leaning. There was nothing I could do but shout and cry. There was blood everywhere, people hurt, injured, dead.
Indeed, what could a nine year old have done? One moment, I was dancing along the road, hungry, eager to get home. Next, I was shouting on the road, crying, having lost my parents and my two fingers, amongst a pool of blood in the garden of bodies. I went back to my tent eventually, to find out the news of my parent's death has reached before me, and all my uncles and aunties are helping themselves with our stuff, whatever little we had anyways. After a few days, when the hunger became unbearable, I began begging for food, singing hymns as I had seen other children do it. I used to despise them, but 3 days without any food can make anyone do anything. I was a mere 9 year old.
I am 18 year old now, and I ask you once again. What could I have done? Where was I wrong? What was my fault? It has been 9 years, I still remember that evening as it was yesterday. I haven't slept a good night's sleep since. My mother's face is sketched in my eyes, I hear my father's voices in the nights. Was I a coward? No. I have changed more jobs than any other 18 year old. I have been a chaiwallah, a waiter, a rikshaw wallah, a cook, a barber in the brief 9 years of my childhood. I haven't begged since then, I have slept hungry for weeks at a stretch. Was I a coward? No. I have made my own little shack. I earn a honest living, no matter how meager. I have defended myself against the world. I have grown up, well before time and on my own. Was I a coward? No. I have attended free school in the nights for the past 8 years. I have passed all my courses. I have worked hard to live, I have worked harder in studies. I have done all I could, to survive, to not perish.
But then I had hit the bottom. I could not go on fighting. I wanted to study further, I wanted to become something, I wanted to live in a house with walls for once. But there are no free colleges, are there? I have saved up, but thats just a drop in the ocean. I did ask all my past employers for a loan. It's like they did not even know me now. No bank would lend me the money. My shack does not match up to their standard security mortgage. Then one day, I got the news. It seemed like finally, all my efforts had paid off. It seemed like there was still a God somewhere up there.I was offered a scholarship in a college. I felt like my mother was still watching out for me from up there. But again, there came this man. He was the local leader of a political party. He said I was an unsuitable candidate for the scholarship. He accused me of fraud. Accused me of making up my caste as I could not prove it. How could I? My parents were dead. I was thrown out. And his son was given the scholarship. I wanted to cry, to shout. But I could not. I was not a 9 year old anymore.
I ask you once more. Was I a coward? No. If I had been, I would have used the gun on myself. I would have killed myself. I would have accepted my defeat.
Your Honour, now you know why I killed that man. I am defeated, I know that. But was I a coward? I would say No.
It all started off that day. 9th of January, 2009, 5:30 pm. I was returning home from work. Actually my parents worked there. I was too young to work, barely 9 years of age. My parents worked for a contractor, carrying bricks and cement. I used to go with them and play around all day throwing stones at the stray dogs. I did not go to school, daily wage earners don'r really have that luxury. We lived under a plastic roof at the municipality ground, me, my mom and my dad, with around 1000 other families.
Then, as we were returning home, there was a huge explosion. Hell, I could not even spell explosion then. It was a huge ball of fire that threw the car in the air, and it was accompanied with a deafening noise. I was terrified. I turned back to run, I caught a glimpse of my mom, lying on the road, blood oozing from her open head. My dad was leaning over her, shocked, sad. "Dad RUN!!" I shouted, trying to point at the car that was still flying from the explosion. But I was a bit too late, It fell right where my mom was lying, right where my father was leaning. There was nothing I could do but shout and cry. There was blood everywhere, people hurt, injured, dead.
Indeed, what could a nine year old have done? One moment, I was dancing along the road, hungry, eager to get home. Next, I was shouting on the road, crying, having lost my parents and my two fingers, amongst a pool of blood in the garden of bodies. I went back to my tent eventually, to find out the news of my parent's death has reached before me, and all my uncles and aunties are helping themselves with our stuff, whatever little we had anyways. After a few days, when the hunger became unbearable, I began begging for food, singing hymns as I had seen other children do it. I used to despise them, but 3 days without any food can make anyone do anything. I was a mere 9 year old.
I am 18 year old now, and I ask you once again. What could I have done? Where was I wrong? What was my fault? It has been 9 years, I still remember that evening as it was yesterday. I haven't slept a good night's sleep since. My mother's face is sketched in my eyes, I hear my father's voices in the nights. Was I a coward? No. I have changed more jobs than any other 18 year old. I have been a chaiwallah, a waiter, a rikshaw wallah, a cook, a barber in the brief 9 years of my childhood. I haven't begged since then, I have slept hungry for weeks at a stretch. Was I a coward? No. I have made my own little shack. I earn a honest living, no matter how meager. I have defended myself against the world. I have grown up, well before time and on my own. Was I a coward? No. I have attended free school in the nights for the past 8 years. I have passed all my courses. I have worked hard to live, I have worked harder in studies. I have done all I could, to survive, to not perish.
But then I had hit the bottom. I could not go on fighting. I wanted to study further, I wanted to become something, I wanted to live in a house with walls for once. But there are no free colleges, are there? I have saved up, but thats just a drop in the ocean. I did ask all my past employers for a loan. It's like they did not even know me now. No bank would lend me the money. My shack does not match up to their standard security mortgage. Then one day, I got the news. It seemed like finally, all my efforts had paid off. It seemed like there was still a God somewhere up there.I was offered a scholarship in a college. I felt like my mother was still watching out for me from up there. But again, there came this man. He was the local leader of a political party. He said I was an unsuitable candidate for the scholarship. He accused me of fraud. Accused me of making up my caste as I could not prove it. How could I? My parents were dead. I was thrown out. And his son was given the scholarship. I wanted to cry, to shout. But I could not. I was not a 9 year old anymore.
I ask you once more. Was I a coward? No. If I had been, I would have used the gun on myself. I would have killed myself. I would have accepted my defeat.
Your Honour, now you know why I killed that man. I am defeated, I know that. But was I a coward? I would say No.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Unlearning Time
About a hundred years ago,
There was this man,
People called him Einstien.
They say, He understood 'TIME',
Better than anybody else.
He gave this theory,
'TIME', he said, is not absolute.
A second is not necessarily a second.
He was a genius all right.
Taught 'TIME' to the world.
Then, about a hundred years later,
This guy was coming of age,
Who thought he understood 'TIME'.
He got how 'TIME' flies,
When the 'TIME' is good.
Or how it crawls sometimes,
When the 'TIMES' are rough.
How 'TIME' heals all the wounds,
Or at least is supposed to.
He thought he knew the rule,
Of adapting to the changing 'TIMES'.
Until one day it hit him,
Well somebody hit him, and hit him hard.
And left him bruised and hurt.
He waited and waited in vain,
For the 'TIME' to heal him,
But it never did. Instead,
The 'TIME' laughed at him,
Through his pain.
And it crawled always, at all 'TIMES'.
And then he decided, its the 'TIME',
To clear the air on the misconceptions,
To rectify the superstitions,
Fed to him through the 'TIMES'.
He decided, that young man coming of age,
To start unlearning 'TIME'.
Its not easy, he knows,
Unlearning 'TIME' is no simple rhyme.
There was this man,
People called him Einstien.
They say, He understood 'TIME',
Better than anybody else.
He gave this theory,
'TIME', he said, is not absolute.
A second is not necessarily a second.
He was a genius all right.
Taught 'TIME' to the world.
Then, about a hundred years later,
This guy was coming of age,
Who thought he understood 'TIME'.
He got how 'TIME' flies,
When the 'TIME' is good.
Or how it crawls sometimes,
When the 'TIMES' are rough.
How 'TIME' heals all the wounds,
Or at least is supposed to.
He thought he knew the rule,
Of adapting to the changing 'TIMES'.
Until one day it hit him,
Well somebody hit him, and hit him hard.
And left him bruised and hurt.
He waited and waited in vain,
For the 'TIME' to heal him,
But it never did. Instead,
The 'TIME' laughed at him,
Through his pain.
And it crawled always, at all 'TIMES'.
And then he decided, its the 'TIME',
To clear the air on the misconceptions,
To rectify the superstitions,
Fed to him through the 'TIMES'.
He decided, that young man coming of age,
To start unlearning 'TIME'.
Its not easy, he knows,
Unlearning 'TIME' is no simple rhyme.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Its coming..
My fellow countrymen,
It is with heavy heart and shaking fingers that I write to you this letter. Rough times are ahead. For almost 3 years we have been fighting, and we have survived. The enemy has grown bigger, better, more formidable with every fight. But we have not budged, and neither will we now. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
I know you are scared. Afraid of what the future has in store for you. But you shall not be ashamed of your fear. It's only human to be scared. But let not you fear down you. Let not the fear weaken your spirits. For your spirits are your weapons against the unknown. No battle can be won with dampened spirits. Promise me my friends, that you shall not give in to despair, you shall not give in to your fear. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
So, my people, it is time to unite under a single roof and let the world hear you. No matter how brutal or strong the enemy is. No matter how deadly are its stings or how cunning is his brain. You shall not give in without a fight. It might leave you wounded, scratched, bruised, limping or crippled. It might even take your life. But it cannot take your freedom. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
A soldier.
It is with heavy heart and shaking fingers that I write to you this letter. Rough times are ahead. For almost 3 years we have been fighting, and we have survived. The enemy has grown bigger, better, more formidable with every fight. But we have not budged, and neither will we now. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
I know you are scared. Afraid of what the future has in store for you. But you shall not be ashamed of your fear. It's only human to be scared. But let not you fear down you. Let not the fear weaken your spirits. For your spirits are your weapons against the unknown. No battle can be won with dampened spirits. Promise me my friends, that you shall not give in to despair, you shall not give in to your fear. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
So, my people, it is time to unite under a single roof and let the world hear you. No matter how brutal or strong the enemy is. No matter how deadly are its stings or how cunning is his brain. You shall not give in without a fight. It might leave you wounded, scratched, bruised, limping or crippled. It might even take your life. But it cannot take your freedom. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
A soldier.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)