Tuesday, June 23, 2009
엉아ㅣㅓㅍ리루
Chopsticks, Raw pork, Fried rice with shrimps, Cheapest beer, Costliest food, Sexiest legs, Not so sexy faces, Marlboro, Long hours, Downtown, Agasse, Vending machines, Lotte super, Yobosayo, Lamyang, CIDMS, Soju??, Hara international, Inappropriate bathrooms, Irritating Egyptians, Deftones, Boreyong mud festival, Woori, Kimchi, HUHA, Ridiculous farms, Drunk men, Drunk women, Racer bikes........ nothing more!!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
CAFE au' LAIT
"Hye! Would you like to go out and have an ice cream?"
"That is the best you could come up with? And it took you two hours to get that? That is the lamest thing one could ever say to any girl. It's official my friend; the day you get a girlfriend is the day hell ceases to exist. And I swear on my last tube of hair cream it would freeze way before you lose your virginity."
"But whats wrong with an Ice Cream? Girls like Ice cream don't they? I have never heard about any girl who hates Ice Cream. Wikipedia says it is one of the top 1o pick-up lines in Bangladesh."
"Abey ghonchu! How long have you kown this girl?"
"It feels like forever. It feels like I have been waiting for her all my life and 6 lives before that. I feel a special bond with her so strong it could have only be made in heaven...."
"I repeat my question: How long have you ACTUALLY known this girl??"
"Hmmmm lets see, I know that her name is Ayesha, I am not sure about her last name. I know that she studies in the PK University, right near Tagore Chowk. She takes bus no. 9 from Adarsh Colony at 9 in the morning to reach the college but she never returns by it. I spent the last three days in all the buses with 9 written on them. But I did not......."
"Just answer the question!!!"
"A little less than two weeks..."
"Are mere Romeo, research won't help you in this field. All that could be done is already done. What you need is groundwork. Get yourself together first, get a haircut, and NOT under the tree this time. Buy a pair of jeans, and some T Shirts. When you go to the bus stop next time, make it look like your car has a flat tyre. Be the stud, at least look like one. It always works dude. They alway go for the studs. To her, you should be the only guy on that bus stop. Her prince charming, her hero, her mystery man..."
"But,.."
"But what? Do not disturb me when I am in flow, just try to listen and learn. But what??"
"But you haven't told me what should I say to her. I get really nervous whenever I want to say something to her. I cannot even talk to anybody else when she is around. But it is okay because there really is no one on the bus stop at 9 in the morning I would like to talk to. If she would meet me in the evening then I'd be damned because...
"Topic!! Do not deviate from your path. From now on, the only thing you will think about is her, Ayesha right?? Or whatever she is. In two weeks you know that she is your soulmate. Have some sense or you cannot reach anywhere in your life. Is that where you want to reach?? Not anywhere?? I did not think so. So what you will do is get yourself in shape, go to the bus stop, and talk to her. And if you can do that, the right words will come out of your mouth. You know that fucker, whats his name? Yes, Shahrukh Khan said that if you want something real bad than the universe strives to present it to you, giftwrapped. I added the giftwrapped part. Really adds a tinge to it, don't you think? Anyways, you may go now. And come back with good news, and some chicken from Hamim's."
Next Morning:
9 AM:
Adarsh colony bus stop:
"Hey!"
"Hye?"
"Ayesha right?"
"Yes?"
"I see you everyday on this Bus Stop"
"Oh! You come here daily?"
"Yeah, I study in DK University, right next to PK University."
"Oh, Do you want something?"
"Longest pause in the history of pauses........... hmmmmm... Ice Cream."
"Excuse me?"
"I want Ice Cream. Do you have some? I mean do you want some? It will probably do something about this sweating problem I got going on."
"I am sorry I do not like Ice Cream, I am more of a coffee kinda' girl."
"A new canteen opened last week outside our college. I hear it serves some great Ice Cream... I mean Coffee.. I mean Coffee flavored Ice Cream. Would you like to try it sometime?"
"I guess I could try it.."
" The Ice Cream is really great, thats what I have heard till now, I think it would not be fair if you did not try it at least once. And I like Ice Creams a lot, so I want to try it too, I just thought..."
"I just said yes.."
"What?? Oh yes. I heard that. Today lunch then?? I will wait for you at the canteen."
Lunch:
1 PM:
Ranjite da dhaba:
"How is it? I told you I heard it was something else."
"It is actually good. I think we should come here again some other time."
Night:
1 AM:
Beds:
"Hello! Tomorrow lunch okay? Same time, same place, same Ice Cream."
"That is the best you could come up with? And it took you two hours to get that? That is the lamest thing one could ever say to any girl. It's official my friend; the day you get a girlfriend is the day hell ceases to exist. And I swear on my last tube of hair cream it would freeze way before you lose your virginity."
"But whats wrong with an Ice Cream? Girls like Ice cream don't they? I have never heard about any girl who hates Ice Cream. Wikipedia says it is one of the top 1o pick-up lines in Bangladesh."
"Abey ghonchu! How long have you kown this girl?"
"It feels like forever. It feels like I have been waiting for her all my life and 6 lives before that. I feel a special bond with her so strong it could have only be made in heaven...."
"I repeat my question: How long have you ACTUALLY known this girl??"
"Hmmmm lets see, I know that her name is Ayesha, I am not sure about her last name. I know that she studies in the PK University, right near Tagore Chowk. She takes bus no. 9 from Adarsh Colony at 9 in the morning to reach the college but she never returns by it. I spent the last three days in all the buses with 9 written on them. But I did not......."
"Just answer the question!!!"
"A little less than two weeks..."
"Are mere Romeo, research won't help you in this field. All that could be done is already done. What you need is groundwork. Get yourself together first, get a haircut, and NOT under the tree this time. Buy a pair of jeans, and some T Shirts. When you go to the bus stop next time, make it look like your car has a flat tyre. Be the stud, at least look like one. It always works dude. They alway go for the studs. To her, you should be the only guy on that bus stop. Her prince charming, her hero, her mystery man..."
"But,.."
"But what? Do not disturb me when I am in flow, just try to listen and learn. But what??"
"But you haven't told me what should I say to her. I get really nervous whenever I want to say something to her. I cannot even talk to anybody else when she is around. But it is okay because there really is no one on the bus stop at 9 in the morning I would like to talk to. If she would meet me in the evening then I'd be damned because...
"Topic!! Do not deviate from your path. From now on, the only thing you will think about is her, Ayesha right?? Or whatever she is. In two weeks you know that she is your soulmate. Have some sense or you cannot reach anywhere in your life. Is that where you want to reach?? Not anywhere?? I did not think so. So what you will do is get yourself in shape, go to the bus stop, and talk to her. And if you can do that, the right words will come out of your mouth. You know that fucker, whats his name? Yes, Shahrukh Khan said that if you want something real bad than the universe strives to present it to you, giftwrapped. I added the giftwrapped part. Really adds a tinge to it, don't you think? Anyways, you may go now. And come back with good news, and some chicken from Hamim's."
Next Morning:
9 AM:
Adarsh colony bus stop:
"Hey!"
"Hye?"
"Ayesha right?"
"Yes?"
"I see you everyday on this Bus Stop"
"Oh! You come here daily?"
"Yeah, I study in DK University, right next to PK University."
"Oh, Do you want something?"
"Longest pause in the history of pauses........... hmmmmm... Ice Cream."
"Excuse me?"
"I want Ice Cream. Do you have some? I mean do you want some? It will probably do something about this sweating problem I got going on."
"I am sorry I do not like Ice Cream, I am more of a coffee kinda' girl."
"A new canteen opened last week outside our college. I hear it serves some great Ice Cream... I mean Coffee.. I mean Coffee flavored Ice Cream. Would you like to try it sometime?"
"I guess I could try it.."
" The Ice Cream is really great, thats what I have heard till now, I think it would not be fair if you did not try it at least once. And I like Ice Creams a lot, so I want to try it too, I just thought..."
"I just said yes.."
"What?? Oh yes. I heard that. Today lunch then?? I will wait for you at the canteen."
Lunch:
1 PM:
Ranjite da dhaba:
"How is it? I told you I heard it was something else."
"It is actually good. I think we should come here again some other time."
Night:
1 AM:
Beds:
"Hello! Tomorrow lunch okay? Same time, same place, same Ice Cream."
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Confession
You want to know why I did it. You want answers, explanations, then you must be patient. Because this is my story, and it starts from the very beginning.
It all started off that day. 9th of January, 2009, 5:30 pm. I was returning home from work. Actually my parents worked there. I was too young to work, barely 9 years of age. My parents worked for a contractor, carrying bricks and cement. I used to go with them and play around all day throwing stones at the stray dogs. I did not go to school, daily wage earners don'r really have that luxury. We lived under a plastic roof at the municipality ground, me, my mom and my dad, with around 1000 other families.
Then, as we were returning home, there was a huge explosion. Hell, I could not even spell explosion then. It was a huge ball of fire that threw the car in the air, and it was accompanied with a deafening noise. I was terrified. I turned back to run, I caught a glimpse of my mom, lying on the road, blood oozing from her open head. My dad was leaning over her, shocked, sad. "Dad RUN!!" I shouted, trying to point at the car that was still flying from the explosion. But I was a bit too late, It fell right where my mom was lying, right where my father was leaning. There was nothing I could do but shout and cry. There was blood everywhere, people hurt, injured, dead.
Indeed, what could a nine year old have done? One moment, I was dancing along the road, hungry, eager to get home. Next, I was shouting on the road, crying, having lost my parents and my two fingers, amongst a pool of blood in the garden of bodies. I went back to my tent eventually, to find out the news of my parent's death has reached before me, and all my uncles and aunties are helping themselves with our stuff, whatever little we had anyways. After a few days, when the hunger became unbearable, I began begging for food, singing hymns as I had seen other children do it. I used to despise them, but 3 days without any food can make anyone do anything. I was a mere 9 year old.
I am 18 year old now, and I ask you once again. What could I have done? Where was I wrong? What was my fault? It has been 9 years, I still remember that evening as it was yesterday. I haven't slept a good night's sleep since. My mother's face is sketched in my eyes, I hear my father's voices in the nights. Was I a coward? No. I have changed more jobs than any other 18 year old. I have been a chaiwallah, a waiter, a rikshaw wallah, a cook, a barber in the brief 9 years of my childhood. I haven't begged since then, I have slept hungry for weeks at a stretch. Was I a coward? No. I have made my own little shack. I earn a honest living, no matter how meager. I have defended myself against the world. I have grown up, well before time and on my own. Was I a coward? No. I have attended free school in the nights for the past 8 years. I have passed all my courses. I have worked hard to live, I have worked harder in studies. I have done all I could, to survive, to not perish.
But then I had hit the bottom. I could not go on fighting. I wanted to study further, I wanted to become something, I wanted to live in a house with walls for once. But there are no free colleges, are there? I have saved up, but thats just a drop in the ocean. I did ask all my past employers for a loan. It's like they did not even know me now. No bank would lend me the money. My shack does not match up to their standard security mortgage. Then one day, I got the news. It seemed like finally, all my efforts had paid off. It seemed like there was still a God somewhere up there.I was offered a scholarship in a college. I felt like my mother was still watching out for me from up there. But again, there came this man. He was the local leader of a political party. He said I was an unsuitable candidate for the scholarship. He accused me of fraud. Accused me of making up my caste as I could not prove it. How could I? My parents were dead. I was thrown out. And his son was given the scholarship. I wanted to cry, to shout. But I could not. I was not a 9 year old anymore.
I ask you once more. Was I a coward? No. If I had been, I would have used the gun on myself. I would have killed myself. I would have accepted my defeat.
Your Honour, now you know why I killed that man. I am defeated, I know that. But was I a coward? I would say No.
It all started off that day. 9th of January, 2009, 5:30 pm. I was returning home from work. Actually my parents worked there. I was too young to work, barely 9 years of age. My parents worked for a contractor, carrying bricks and cement. I used to go with them and play around all day throwing stones at the stray dogs. I did not go to school, daily wage earners don'r really have that luxury. We lived under a plastic roof at the municipality ground, me, my mom and my dad, with around 1000 other families.
Then, as we were returning home, there was a huge explosion. Hell, I could not even spell explosion then. It was a huge ball of fire that threw the car in the air, and it was accompanied with a deafening noise. I was terrified. I turned back to run, I caught a glimpse of my mom, lying on the road, blood oozing from her open head. My dad was leaning over her, shocked, sad. "Dad RUN!!" I shouted, trying to point at the car that was still flying from the explosion. But I was a bit too late, It fell right where my mom was lying, right where my father was leaning. There was nothing I could do but shout and cry. There was blood everywhere, people hurt, injured, dead.
Indeed, what could a nine year old have done? One moment, I was dancing along the road, hungry, eager to get home. Next, I was shouting on the road, crying, having lost my parents and my two fingers, amongst a pool of blood in the garden of bodies. I went back to my tent eventually, to find out the news of my parent's death has reached before me, and all my uncles and aunties are helping themselves with our stuff, whatever little we had anyways. After a few days, when the hunger became unbearable, I began begging for food, singing hymns as I had seen other children do it. I used to despise them, but 3 days without any food can make anyone do anything. I was a mere 9 year old.
I am 18 year old now, and I ask you once again. What could I have done? Where was I wrong? What was my fault? It has been 9 years, I still remember that evening as it was yesterday. I haven't slept a good night's sleep since. My mother's face is sketched in my eyes, I hear my father's voices in the nights. Was I a coward? No. I have changed more jobs than any other 18 year old. I have been a chaiwallah, a waiter, a rikshaw wallah, a cook, a barber in the brief 9 years of my childhood. I haven't begged since then, I have slept hungry for weeks at a stretch. Was I a coward? No. I have made my own little shack. I earn a honest living, no matter how meager. I have defended myself against the world. I have grown up, well before time and on my own. Was I a coward? No. I have attended free school in the nights for the past 8 years. I have passed all my courses. I have worked hard to live, I have worked harder in studies. I have done all I could, to survive, to not perish.
But then I had hit the bottom. I could not go on fighting. I wanted to study further, I wanted to become something, I wanted to live in a house with walls for once. But there are no free colleges, are there? I have saved up, but thats just a drop in the ocean. I did ask all my past employers for a loan. It's like they did not even know me now. No bank would lend me the money. My shack does not match up to their standard security mortgage. Then one day, I got the news. It seemed like finally, all my efforts had paid off. It seemed like there was still a God somewhere up there.I was offered a scholarship in a college. I felt like my mother was still watching out for me from up there. But again, there came this man. He was the local leader of a political party. He said I was an unsuitable candidate for the scholarship. He accused me of fraud. Accused me of making up my caste as I could not prove it. How could I? My parents were dead. I was thrown out. And his son was given the scholarship. I wanted to cry, to shout. But I could not. I was not a 9 year old anymore.
I ask you once more. Was I a coward? No. If I had been, I would have used the gun on myself. I would have killed myself. I would have accepted my defeat.
Your Honour, now you know why I killed that man. I am defeated, I know that. But was I a coward? I would say No.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Unlearning Time
About a hundred years ago,
There was this man,
People called him Einstien.
They say, He understood 'TIME',
Better than anybody else.
He gave this theory,
'TIME', he said, is not absolute.
A second is not necessarily a second.
He was a genius all right.
Taught 'TIME' to the world.
Then, about a hundred years later,
This guy was coming of age,
Who thought he understood 'TIME'.
He got how 'TIME' flies,
When the 'TIME' is good.
Or how it crawls sometimes,
When the 'TIMES' are rough.
How 'TIME' heals all the wounds,
Or at least is supposed to.
He thought he knew the rule,
Of adapting to the changing 'TIMES'.
Until one day it hit him,
Well somebody hit him, and hit him hard.
And left him bruised and hurt.
He waited and waited in vain,
For the 'TIME' to heal him,
But it never did. Instead,
The 'TIME' laughed at him,
Through his pain.
And it crawled always, at all 'TIMES'.
And then he decided, its the 'TIME',
To clear the air on the misconceptions,
To rectify the superstitions,
Fed to him through the 'TIMES'.
He decided, that young man coming of age,
To start unlearning 'TIME'.
Its not easy, he knows,
Unlearning 'TIME' is no simple rhyme.
There was this man,
People called him Einstien.
They say, He understood 'TIME',
Better than anybody else.
He gave this theory,
'TIME', he said, is not absolute.
A second is not necessarily a second.
He was a genius all right.
Taught 'TIME' to the world.
Then, about a hundred years later,
This guy was coming of age,
Who thought he understood 'TIME'.
He got how 'TIME' flies,
When the 'TIME' is good.
Or how it crawls sometimes,
When the 'TIMES' are rough.
How 'TIME' heals all the wounds,
Or at least is supposed to.
He thought he knew the rule,
Of adapting to the changing 'TIMES'.
Until one day it hit him,
Well somebody hit him, and hit him hard.
And left him bruised and hurt.
He waited and waited in vain,
For the 'TIME' to heal him,
But it never did. Instead,
The 'TIME' laughed at him,
Through his pain.
And it crawled always, at all 'TIMES'.
And then he decided, its the 'TIME',
To clear the air on the misconceptions,
To rectify the superstitions,
Fed to him through the 'TIMES'.
He decided, that young man coming of age,
To start unlearning 'TIME'.
Its not easy, he knows,
Unlearning 'TIME' is no simple rhyme.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Its coming..
My fellow countrymen,
It is with heavy heart and shaking fingers that I write to you this letter. Rough times are ahead. For almost 3 years we have been fighting, and we have survived. The enemy has grown bigger, better, more formidable with every fight. But we have not budged, and neither will we now. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
I know you are scared. Afraid of what the future has in store for you. But you shall not be ashamed of your fear. It's only human to be scared. But let not you fear down you. Let not the fear weaken your spirits. For your spirits are your weapons against the unknown. No battle can be won with dampened spirits. Promise me my friends, that you shall not give in to despair, you shall not give in to your fear. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
So, my people, it is time to unite under a single roof and let the world hear you. No matter how brutal or strong the enemy is. No matter how deadly are its stings or how cunning is his brain. You shall not give in without a fight. It might leave you wounded, scratched, bruised, limping or crippled. It might even take your life. But it cannot take your freedom. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
A soldier.
It is with heavy heart and shaking fingers that I write to you this letter. Rough times are ahead. For almost 3 years we have been fighting, and we have survived. The enemy has grown bigger, better, more formidable with every fight. But we have not budged, and neither will we now. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
I know you are scared. Afraid of what the future has in store for you. But you shall not be ashamed of your fear. It's only human to be scared. But let not you fear down you. Let not the fear weaken your spirits. For your spirits are your weapons against the unknown. No battle can be won with dampened spirits. Promise me my friends, that you shall not give in to despair, you shall not give in to your fear. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
So, my people, it is time to unite under a single roof and let the world hear you. No matter how brutal or strong the enemy is. No matter how deadly are its stings or how cunning is his brain. You shall not give in without a fight. It might leave you wounded, scratched, bruised, limping or crippled. It might even take your life. But it cannot take your freedom. Cuz, you my people, are free men.
A soldier.
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Journey 3: THE ROAD
CLAIMER: The following peice of literature is 99.88% fact and 0.12% exaggeration. This is no fiction.
I am on the station. Silently cursing everybody. It was 2 full days in a smelly train, amongst smelly people. I had not bathed. Hell I didn't even took a crap on the train. I had not slept for more than 10 hrs in the 2 days, in installments. My throat is dry as cotton. I buy a bottle of water. Greedily drink the full bottle. Tastes like ORS, without the sugar. I curse the vendor. Son of a bitch. The voice echoes in my head. I had spotted a few acquaintances on the train. I am trying to find them. They are not here. Maybe they are already outside. I exit the station, and there they are, about 10 people, from my college. Where were you all this time when I was struggling to find something to save myself from dying of boredom? I scream inside my head.
Outside the station it was a totally another mightier crisis waiting for us. Bloody autowallahs and their bloodier autos. Smell of booze 24 hours a day. A wreck of an automobile. They talk in half Assamese and more often than not make no sense. This happened that night at least 4 times.
Me : Bhaiya, IIT chaloge?
AW(Autowallah) : Kahan?
Me : IIT!
AW : Wo kahan ko hai?
Me : North Guwahati, Bramhaputra cross karke.
AW : Kitne log hain?
Me : 3. (How much can you fit in this hole.)
AW : 800 rupay hone se hoga.
Me : 800 to jyada hai.
AW : 800 se kam main hone se nahi hoga. Then something about night, petrol costs, police. I am
already over to the next bloody booze smelling guy.
This one guy has a loading taxi, thinks he is the king of the jungle.
Me : Bhaiya IIT chaloge?
LTW(Loading Taxiwallah) : Nahi.
Me : Kya?
LTW : Abhi neend aa raha hai bhaiya. Abhi nahi jaayega.
Me : Arey chal lo bhaiya. 10 bande hain.
LTW : (thinking...thinking...thinking...thinking...after 3 minutes....) 10 minute sone se chalega.
Me : Arey late ho raha hai. Kitne loge batao?
LTW : 5000 rupay hone se hoga.
Me : 500 main chal loge???
LTW : 500 nahi 5000.
Me : Bhaiya 1500 main to ghar se yahan tak pahunch gaya.
LTW : To nahi chalega. Sone do.
Me : Asshole.
We were back on the road, searching frantically, for a ride. With our bags n stuff. I spotted an autowallah sleeping in his auto at a distance. Went upto him. Woke him up. "*&%@#$", he shouted. I tried not to look scared and followed the same routine. 250 he said. For three of us. He's way drunk. I thought. Me and two other guys, who will be named B and C from now on, ditched the other crowd and boarded the auto, almost crying in joy at our luck. Little did we know what luck had in store for us that night.
So we are in the auto, cramped up in whatever space there was, in very uncomfortable positions. Awkward, but relieved. At least we will get some sleep. The auto is going considerably slow. Or maybe that has something to do with my mind all messed up due to all that exhaustion and sleep deprivation and (feeling like shit)tion. Few more minutes, I spot out a pattern. This is not my mind's handiwork. The guy is searching for petrol pumps. He slows down when he spots one, everything is closed, even pumps. Now I am scared. We will be stranded on the road in the middle of the night. I rememberd what my mom told me before leaving," Beta, guwahati is not safe. Don't go to the city after 5." I start praying. That's something I do only when I am in some kind of trouble. Maybe thats why most of my prayers are blocked right at God's answering machine.
The disaster unveiled. Destiny struck. Shit happened. Bottomline : WE WERE SCREWED!!!!!!! The bloody auto stopped. 2 in the night. On a lonely road. My prayers became more frantic. We all got out of the auto. We had a clear view of his unclean face for the first time. He stank of liquor, but was walking quite sober for someone that drunk.
AW : Ek minute ruko bhaiya. Mai dekhta hai.
B : Zaldi dekho bhaiya.
AW : (Checks the petrol tank) Bhaiya petrol nahi hai.
Me : Ab kya karenge?
AW : Mere paas petrol hai. 2 minute rukne se ho jaayega.
He got a bottle of petrol from his cabinet. Poured in the tank. We all were back in the hellhole. The auto made a sound that sounded like a man on his deathbed coughing his lungs out. A few minutes, we were out on the road again. He opened its rear and tried some stuff. 5 minutes later, we were still on the road. We should try to help, C said, and went to his side. No matter how late in the night it was or how scared I was, the sight of him trying to work around the engine was really funny. It was hot. The engine, I mean. One look at his face and we knew that this was going to be bad. Real bad. The expression on his face pretty much resembled mine when I am trying Rubic's Cube.
B : Bhaiya dhakka maarne se start ho jayegi.
AW : Arey meri gaadi hai. Isko dhakka nahi chahiye. Mujhe pata hai.
He asked for water. We had some with us. Gave it to him. He poured it on the engine. It vanished into thin air. He said he wanted more water and left. We were alone. In the night. On a lonely road. Waiting, for a drunk dirty auto driver who could pretty much be an ULFA operative, on a mission to kidnap three students for whatever reasons they have. Needless to say, we were scared.
Suddenly we heard roars. I cannot find a more suitable word describing the sound that those bikes were making. They were police bikes, three of them, with six policemen on them. At least the ULFA trouble is passed, we thought. They stopped their bikes, and came to us. I swear they were as drunk as the auto driver. And encountering cops in the midnight in India is as good as encountering thugs. This had not in any way decreased the level of fright in our hearts. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" One of them said in a rather rowdy way only used by Indian Policemen and Australian cricketers. We explained the whole situation to them. As proficient as they were in hindi, we tried our best to explain.
B : "Bhaiya IIT ke student hain. Ghar se aaye hain. Taxi kharaab ho gayi hai. Driver paani lene gaya hai."
Policewallah 1 : "Ki aase?"
C : "Bhaiya IIT ke student hain. Ghar se aaye hain. Taxi kharaab ho gayi hai. Driver paani lene gaya hai."
Policewallah 2 : "OI OI TEE? Wo to Shillong main hai na."
I knew right then this was going to end bad, real bad. But by good fortune or just by chance, there was one of them who had heard of our college. He asked for the ID cards, we showed them to him. He did some 'aase aase' to other khakhi clad monsters and they were off again. Never any offer to help or any assistance with the junk of an auto. But we were relieved, soon as we saw the driver running to us with the water in a bottle. We were back in the hole, as best as we could, as he poured the water on the engine and came to the driver seat. A key moved, a spark ignited, a few hopes raised, a few hearts prayed, an engine gurgled, an auto moved, but only an inch, before it stopped. And all the dreams and hopes were crashed. I yelled out all the profanities I could recall. That kinda pissed the driver off. Then B went out, yelled at the driver, asked him to remain seated. Then he started pushing the auto all by himself. We thought about offering help
but decided otherwise. 15 meters, and the miracle happened. The junk was moving again. We were mobile and B was sweating.
Then, there came a sight that overshadowed all the frustration and anger and despair and pain. The Saraighat Bridge, standing tall above the mighty Brahmaputra sretching endlessly on both sides, vast, calm, soothing, shimmering under the night skies, the view was magnificent. Till the auto stopped again. And all of a sudden, as we were out on the road again, pushing the cart, it was not as magnificent as it looked. The river was smiling at us, silent crooked smile at our misfortunes, the stars were less subtle, laughing almost violently in the water at us. Me and C were pushing the auto, along the bridge until it started and we got in. This happened a few more times in the next 4 kilometers of the road. And we were pushing again, a few more times. We were hungry. tired, sleep deprived, and were pushing the auto in the middle of the night, in the middle of the loneliest stretch of road ever seen, with the creepiest little man driving us. We discussed with him, in great detail and all possible angles, his love and sex life. Things I better not put down here. He told us how many girls has he done and in how many states has he done them. He was drunk, and was a good passtime. We were too tired to speak, or to laugh even. We just sat and listened.
Just when I thought things could not get much worse, they did. We were pushing the auto, all four of us, with our luggage inside it. This was a spark of genious we had when any amount of pushing could not start that garbage. We were going at our own pace, a pace suitable only for three tired to death young students and a drunk to the brink of death auto driver. This was when he arrived. T-shirt and shorts. Shoes. 3 in the night. On his enfield making all those sounds that only an enfield can make. Tearing through the night at 60 kmph. And as the luck would have it, our night was going to go much worse................................
To be continued...(that is, if I dont die tomorrow)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
आराम करो
आराम ज़िन्दगी की कुंजी, इससे न तपेदिक होती है।
आराम सुधा की एक बूंद, तन का दुबलापन खोती है।
आराम शब्द में 'राम' छिपा जो भव-बंधन को खोता है।
आराम शब्द का ज्ञाता तो विरला ही योगी होता है।
इसलिए तुम्हें समझाता हूँ, मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
ये जीवन, यौवन क्षणभंगुर, आराम करो, आराम करो।
यदि करना ही कुछ पड़ जाए तो अधिक न तुम उत्पात करो।
अपने घर में बैठे-बैठे बस लंबी-लंबी बात करो।
करने-धरने में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा बात बनाने में।
जो ओठ हिलाने में रस है, वह कभी न हाथ हिलाने में।
तुम मुझसे पूछो बतलाऊँ -- है मज़ा मूर्ख कहलाने में।
जीवन-जागृति में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा है सो जाने में।
मैं यही सोचकर पास अक्ल के, कम ही जाया करता हूँ।
जो बुद्धिमान जन होते हैं, उनसे कतराया करता हूँ।
दीए जलने के पहले ही घर में आ जाया करता हूँ।
जो मिलता है, खा लेता हूँ, चुपके सो जाया करता हूँ।
मेरी गीता में लिखा हुआ -- सच्चे योगी जो होते हैं,
वे कम-से-कम बारह घंटे तो बेफ़िक्री से सोते हैं।
आराम सुधा की एक बूंद, तन का दुबलापन खोती है।
आराम शब्द में 'राम' छिपा जो भव-बंधन को खोता है।
आराम शब्द का ज्ञाता तो विरला ही योगी होता है।
इसलिए तुम्हें समझाता हूँ, मेरे अनुभव से काम करो।
ये जीवन, यौवन क्षणभंगुर, आराम करो, आराम करो।
यदि करना ही कुछ पड़ जाए तो अधिक न तुम उत्पात करो।
अपने घर में बैठे-बैठे बस लंबी-लंबी बात करो।
करने-धरने में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा बात बनाने में।
जो ओठ हिलाने में रस है, वह कभी न हाथ हिलाने में।
तुम मुझसे पूछो बतलाऊँ -- है मज़ा मूर्ख कहलाने में।
जीवन-जागृति में क्या रक्खा जो रक्खा है सो जाने में।
मैं यही सोचकर पास अक्ल के, कम ही जाया करता हूँ।
जो बुद्धिमान जन होते हैं, उनसे कतराया करता हूँ।
दीए जलने के पहले ही घर में आ जाया करता हूँ।
जो मिलता है, खा लेता हूँ, चुपके सो जाया करता हूँ।
मेरी गीता में लिखा हुआ -- सच्चे योगी जो होते हैं,
वे कम-से-कम बारह घंटे तो बेफ़िक्री से सोते हैं।
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